I have been hesitant to write this post and have had to craft my words ever so carefully the last few days. Though at times blogging is wonderful and you get to share so many great things with readers...the flip side is that your life can become somewhat of an open book. Being that I have had this blog for 2.5 years now, I frankly don't seem to have a choice, do I? It really is the emails from readers like you that keep me writing... so, thank you. I appreciate them so much.
I know some may wonder if I date or if I have gotten back into that whole swing of things again, and the truth is that I have. It took a good 9 months to do so, but I began dating again when I felt ready to and the timing consequently occurred after I moved to Atlanta. The truth is that I have been out with 6 guys since moving here. Six. They are/were all a thumbs down and frankly, I am exhausted. I hate dating because it is such a game.
An exhausting game in which I am done playing.
Of course you have the dud dates that only happen once.... one in particular for me, the guy watched the news the entire time in the restaurant until I finally leaned in and asked if there was anything good on TV. 45 minutes into the date I bailed saying I had an appointment with my trainer at the gym. I did.... just not that soon. I guess he finished watching the news on TV?
Another keeps texting me that we need to hang out again, we need to hang out again.... I respond, "Sure, let's do it!" Writes on my Facebook wall, "Let's hang out...".... I'm like... Okay, so ASK! DUH. What are you, in 2nd grade?!
But, I have to say this last month was not fun at all. Reminded me of why I don't like men and it will take a man sprinkled with glitter from the good Lord above for me to know that he is trustworthy enough for me to provide a small snippet of my time to. I'm ready for one man to prove me wrong. Just one.
So, I really hit it off with 2 people in particular. Had a lot of fun & a lot in common. I was told many things and was highly pursued. Nothing too new...I'm used to this game. I played my cards right just as every girl should and started with my wall and guard up. I figure I have every right to. After being fed words of 'trust me' and 'you are wonderful' and some really fun dates that followed... I was asked to bring my wall down. I began to. That is until I hear that they are not over their ex and are confused. This not only happened once, but it happened twice.
So, I loved all your comments on my previous post. They were too funny. I love how everyone thought G was adorable -- he is. I've known him 3 years - went to school together in VA. He was the first guy that I actually felt comfortable posting pictures of on my blog since D. How it went from "I want you come out to Arizona and visit me while at grad school" one day, to "I still have feelings for my ex", I don't know. But it did. My guard was up... I just wanted to be friends like we had been.... and the minute I start to trust what I am told and I let the thick, chained walls around my heart (that is being held together by tape by the way), I get tossed. Again.
I've dated the closet alcoholic cowboy, I've been engaged to a pompous fool that can't commit to anything to save his life, I've been out with the jocks, the metrosexuals, the politicians, and the good ol' boys. Something must not be right.
And for the sake of all sakes, please do not leave me a comment telling me that I need to stay positive and that my prince charming is out there because frankly, I'm over it. I've met many prince charmings.... and that's what they were... charmers. Not real.
It's been a wake-up call to me..... who can I trust? I don't think I want to date anymore. I'm sick of it. Sick of the players. Sick of the men that don't know what they want or who they want it with or if they even want it at all. Sick of rebounders. All of the above.
And, I'm done.